If you are not familiar with Mel Robbins, I encourage you to seek her out!
Mel’s credentials are out the wazoo when it comes to real-life practicality and advice you can take to the bank. Don’t take my word for it, check out her TEDx talk HERE.
OK, so now you know the woman behind the “High 5” Challenge and the author of a book with the same name. For REAL. And when I heard the title of the book and the premise, I thought, REALLY? This is going to change my life? A High 5? I almost dismissed it, but…
I respect Mel’s work so much that I decided to read the book AND I took the challenge. I was not disappointed.
Here’s what I learned…
There is real science behind her method and she discloses her research as well as real-life examples from 100’s of people who have tried it.
What is the “High 5 Challenge”?
Basically, it is this: to look at yourself in the mirror in the morning and place hands on the heart (a heart High 5) and repeat “I’m OK. I’m safe. I am loved.” Mmmm. Simple. Then high 5 yourself in the mirror! Really. That’s all there is to it. OK…well not exactly. Let me take you through each day of the “High 5” five-day challenge, which I encourage you to do. Click HERE to check it out.
Day 1: Practice the High 5
Simple. Just do it. OK, not so easy. Looking yourself in the mirror with the same enthusiasm that you would give to your middle school teenager who just won the championship soccer game was not quite how it went down for me the first day. I smiled. I mustered up a sub-par “High 5” to myself in the mirror and took a photo. Posted it and that was that. Nothing earth shattering. I did notice that my self-talk during the day was less bitchy and more encouraging…every so slightly. I had a good feeling.
Day 2: Let go of negative self-talk
High 5 myself in the mirror and then make a pledge during the day to catch myself when I am down. Check in with my self-talk and turn it around.
|Examples of Negative Self-Talk||Turn it Around…|
|“I need to <fill in the blank>||“I get to…”|
|“I didn’t do <fill in the blank>||“I can move forward on this by…”|
|“I’ll do it later.” (meaning not at all)||“My efforts are rewarded no matter how small.”|
|“Why is this so hard?”||“Everything always works out.”|
By clueing into what I was saying in my head when I was feeling low and unmotivated, I found a few revealing things about myself…
- I negate my accomplishments ALL THE TIME! Dismissing what I do because others do it better or because I’m not doing it in a big enough way. Basically looking for ways to validate my belief of not being good enough. WOW! I thought I had tackled that one but it rears its head whenever I go for something new. Now I know.
- By sitting with my feelings I am learning to accept where I am and move forward with a different mantra. One from the right-hand side of the table….”My efforts are rewarded no matter how small.”
Basically: I am my own cheerleader!! I do not need approval from others to feel accomplished.
Day 3: Addressing The FEAR factor
We all have FEAR. And it’s not a BAD thing. It gives us reason to pause and think things through. Given free reign though, it can also be paralyzing. It keeps us from moving forward. It keeps us “safe” within the boundaries of what we are familiar with. Stepping outside your comfort zone can be SCARY. How to get past it?
This is the day we were introduced to the HEART High-5.
- Place your hands on your heart, say out loud, “I am OK. I am Safe. I am LoVED.”
- Set an intention for the day. How do you want to feel? What do you want to accomplish? Write it down.
- Take Action – Fear disappears when you take action towards your dream. Choose just one action step that will move you forward towards your intention. THIS WAS A GAME CHANGER for me.
Instead of FEAR paralysis, I was able to pick just one thing and focus my energy in that direction instead of being in my head all day about all the things I am not getting done. Yes. Simple. And, it was a game-changer for me.
What do you dream of? What action step can you take towards it? Make a phone call? Write the blog? Unleash your creativity and just DO IT!
Day 4: Confidence
Volumes are written about this. Confidence is the willingness to try. I like that definition.
Shift how you see yourself. Flip the picture from seeking acceptance and validation from the outside and instead seek it from inside yourself. How? We already talked about it on day 3…Take ACTION!
Yep. Here is another definition of Confidence from Mel…
”Confidence = Values being supported by your ACTIONS.”
Here are 3 things you can do that build Confidence…
- High 5 yourself every day. By doing so, you silence the inner critic and the insecurities that go with it, thereby leveraging the programmed belief (of the high 5 action) that says, “I believe in you!” This is trust-building.
- Focus on what is in your cup instead of what is in everyone else’s. Focusing on what others value is a false sense of doing. You see, when we are looking at what is in someone else’s cup we are distracted from our own VALUEs (what is in our cup). Then actions don’t align with what is most important to YOU. Align your actions with your values and you are now building self-confidence. That feels better.
- Ask the question: “What skills would make me feel more confident?” Then seek to develop those skills.
Day 5: Habit Stacking
OK, I really liked this one. Habit stacking is the art of introducing something new to your routine and making it a habit by stacking it with something you already do. In my case, I wanted to practice daily gratitude in the mornings in order to thwart the inner mind chatter of the todo list that puts me in overwhelm before breakfast. I have a habit of making my bed every day. So, while I make my bed I stacked this new habit where I explore what I am grateful for. I pause for just a moment and say out loud one thing I am grateful for. Then I think of 3 reasons why I am grateful for it.
For example I am grateful for my car. It is reliable, easy to maintain, and provides convenience at my fingertips. I am able to meet clients and friends and have the ability to visit family far away.
So, how are you going to use the High 5 Habit?